Warning! Emotional dump ahead!
Going through a huge hurdle in the beginning of the year was tough. I welcomed the new year with high hopes and a fresh start, only to be dragged down the pit 18 days later. I tried to keep myself busy; if only to conceal the longing I have inside. I got too busy, that at some point, I felt like it was draining the life out of me.
On the outside, It seems like I’m okay and that I have fully adjusted to the “new normal”. But inside, I know something in me will never be the same. I lost a part of me that I know I’ll never get back. They say people who laugh and smile a lot are the saddest people. I never really truly understood that, until one day, I found myself smiling through the palpable pain. It may not be true all the time, but at the moment, it is my reality. Most days, I wake up, smile, and just hope for the best.
I am all over the place, I know, but I am far from being cynical. I still have a life ahead of me. So here I am, slowly trying to get back on track. After all, it’s only been six months since I lost my sister.
So, what’s up with me lately?
It’s Kadayawan season here in Davao City and the calendar of events for Davao Bloggers is screaming. I’m not complaining though because with DBS, it’s always a fun time. I have to admit, these people kept me sane during the lowest point of my life. They may not know it, but they have become an integral part of my healing (well, now they know, if they’re reading this! Hehehe).
Blogger duties aside, I’ve gotten back to reading. I honestly haven’t read a book since the beginning of the year and I feel bad because it seems like I am not feeding my brain well enough. I was getting to a point where I felt like my brain is getting dull (Ang OA!). In the hopes of getting my mojo back, I picked up a few new books. So far, I’ve finished reading Thirteen Reasons Why. It’s a light read and there’s nothing really special about it, but it was a good starting point to pick up my momentum. Right now, I’m reading Crazy Rich Asians.
I’ve also gone back to practicing calligraphy. I found this Tokyo Finds calligraphy set at SM Department store. It came with a calligraphy pen, two nibs, and an ink. It’s not the best quality, but hey, it does the job. I’ve done a couple of drills and as you can see, I could definitely use a lot of practice.
That’s it for now. Sorry for the emotional dump, but I just had to let it out. Now, back to reading about this hilarious Chinese billionaires.